i blog for chocolate

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So the other day I pick up the boys from school.

Jack announces, “I was the only one in my class to make 100 on our test today.”

“Good for you, Jack!”

Brady said, “I made a 100 on a math quiz.”

“See, Brady, all your hard work paid off.”

 Will gushed, “I got a thumbs up from the band director.”

 “Wow, Will, I guess you are glad you switched to drums after all.”

 Then George asks, “Where exactly do babies come from?”

SCREECH!!!!!!!

WHAT!!!!!!!!!

George has a future in baseball.  He throws a wicked curve ball.

Brady knows his mother probably doesn’t want to discuss this now or ever and  assures George that the stork brings them.

One friend says that whenever her kids throw her a curve, she says, “Oh, I see a rabbit” and points out the window.

Diversion is our friend.

Matt said that even one of his co -workers had the same suggestion if they are struggling to get some technology to work at a customer site, “Is that a bald eagle?” he says pointing out the window. 

I don’t think that fast on my feet, but I think with a son like George I need learn how to hit a curve ball every once and while.

Thanks for all the funny posts for the Christmas Cheer contest.  You can check them out in the comments section on Dec. 9. (http://iblogforchocolate.com/?p=173)

Feel free to add your own.  The contest ends on December 20th.

My friend, Julia, called to ask me for this recipe the other day.  It is one of our favorite treats to make for gifts.  I found it in Family Fun magazine a few years ago.  It is super easy and the kids can make them practically without my help. 

Hope you enjoy them, too.  Have a blessed Monday!

Holiday Pretzel Treats

Salty pretzels combine with sweet chocolate for these fun treats that make a yummy gift few can resist. (In fact, you may want to make some extras for yourself!)

Ingredients

• Bite-size, waffle-shaped pretzels
• Hershey’s Kiss or Hershey’s Hug
• M&M’s candy

Instructions

1. Heat the oven to 170F. Set a number of bite-size, waffle-shaped pretzels (one for each treat) in a single layer on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper, then top each pretzel with an unwrapped Hershey’s Kiss or Hershey’s Hug.
2. Bake for 4 to 6 minutes (the white chocolate will melt more quickly), until the chocolates feel soft when touched with a wooden spoon. Remove the cookie sheet from the oven and quickly press an M&M’s candy into the center of each Kiss.
3. Allow the treats to cool for a few minutes, then place them in the refrigerator to set, about 10 minutes. Place handfuls of the candies in clear plastic bags and tie on colorful ribbons.

I have been offline for two days. 

It is OK.  I have joined a support group and apparently there may be government funds available to people like me.

We lost power for a little bit then it came back on and then we lost CABLE!!! 

My friend, Lyssa, called to see if we needed a warm place to sleep or a warm shower.  I told her I can live without those, but not my internet!!!!  So right now I am typing in the library at my sons’ school.

So I missed a day of blogging.  Whew.  Pressure is off now.  I can go back to not blogging and cleaning my house.  OK, maybe this is more fun, and I am so far behind on the housework anyways. . .

Thankfully the Wall Street Journal (WSJ from now on) gave me a diversion from doing anything productive last night.  I had already watched everything we had taped on Tivo, so now I had to find something else to do.  I thought  I would catch up on all the WSJs that pile up during the week.

I skip anything that might be super important to world markets and go straight for the personal journal. 

Here is where I discover the good news.  The cookies that I have been consuming non stop since 5 minutes after Thanksgiving lunch actually count as a  DIET. 

Well, the real cookie diet may be a little different.  You are actually supposed to eat these specially prepackaged, protein rich cookies.  But the idea of eating less food and consuming more cookies really appeals to me.

Of course, then they have to haul in all the “experts”  to explain why this diet may work (eating less=weight loss) and won’t work forever (doesn’t “teach people better eating habits in the long run.”)

But seriously, aren’t we all on a cookie diet at Christmas?

The best diet one nutrition director recommends is the Mediterranean diet.  Now that does sound fabulous.  I probably should go to Greece and see just exactly how this works. 

Who are they kidding, though, I saw “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”  and the “Big” just didn’t refer to their hair. Does Baklava count as a cookie???

So for now I will stick to my local cookie diet that I was unwittingly already on.  I may not lose weight, but I can enjoy my favorite holiday treats  without any guilt.

I saw some commercials the other day for the new season of American Idol.  Let the mocking begin. 

I thought I would start a little contest of my own.  No million dollar recording contract up for grabs here.  But there is a prize.

My sister did not think my “funny” post was all that funny. 

See December 6.

In fact she left me a voice mail that said, “I can find much funnier clips if you want funny.”

So I am calling her bluff and extending the challenge to anyone who reads this blog. 

We need a little Christmas cheer. 

To enter the contest, link your funny videos in a comment to this blog post.  You don’t have to record your own family doing humiliating things.  Just any funny thing from You Tube will do. 

You can enter as many times as you like.

Then on December 20 I will let the readers vote on which one that they think is the funniest and the winner will be announced.

Now, what are you playing for.  The winner will receive a Chik-fil-A calendar plus lots of other neat stuff. 

Don’t get too excited.

The prize isn’t Chik-fil-A for a year. 

But it will bring us all a little Christmas cheer.

Thank goodness my sister is not easily annoyed. 

The other day I left her a voice mail like this:

Caroling, caroling now I go.  Christmas Songs I’m singing.  Caroling, caroling in your phone.  Christmas Joy I’m bringing.  Joyous tidings bringing near.  Minutes aren’t as important as I am dear.  Singing–songs–in–your–phone.  Cell phone carols ringing.

Do you think she might be screening her calls?

You should try it. It is fun. 

However, you run the risk of your calls getting screened.

But it is fun.

If you could see my house right now, you would die.

No, if you could see my house right now, I would die.

Seriously.

It is only half decorated and I am  in the middle of several projects.   The house is a mess.

But life is messy.

When you drag boxes of decorations up from the basement, it is messy.

When you cook a homemade meal for your family, the kitchen is messy.

When you go outside and play in the snow, mud and water and dirt  are going to come into the house, and it is gonna be messy.

So I try not to get too bent out of shape when our house is not perfect.  I would like for it to be, but I live in the real world not a Pottery Barn catalog. 

So when I saw that someone had rearranged the manger scene, I stopped  and rolled my eyes.

“So typical– people walk around this house undoing everything I do,” I complained.

I had arranged everyone in the scene as if they were on a stage and had 3/4 of their bodies facing the “audience.”

The mystery arranger moved all the people so that they were facing the baby Jesus.  All the attention in the scene was turned  to Jesus. 

So simple. 

 Looking at Jesus.

(Not the mess)

Seeing Jesus.

(Not the dirty dishes.) 

Focusing on Jesus.

(Not the extra laundry.) 

Turning so that Jesus is all we see. 

(And not concerning ourselves about what others see.)

That is what Christmas is all about.

Another Day.  Another Blog.

OK.  I admit it–this is harder than I thought.  Please don’t come to the site expecting it to be funny more than once a week.  Humor is hard.  Christina and I agreed at lunch that we don’t update our facebook status more often because we want it to be witty or profound or funny.  Apparently we are not witty or profound or funny that much, and we really don’t think anyone cares what we eat for breakfast.

So I woke up this morning trying to come up with something to write today.  Since it is Sunday, I decided I would listen to the sermon, take really good notes and then write about how it applies to my life. 

Then I remembered. . .I have to keep the nursery today.  Drat, there goes my plan.

So I searched all over the internet for a funny song that I heard on the radio about keeping the nursery.  I couldn’t find it.  (If you have the link send it too me, please.)

But I did find this funny video:  http://www.sermonspice.com/product/3859/christmas-linebacker

It has absolutely nothing to do with keeping the nursery, but it is funny.  So today’s post is not witty or profound, but contains a funny link.  Does that count?  I think I should get points for finding something funny on the internet. 

So I will try to come up with something original and funny this week.  In fact, I am getting up right now to make gingerbread houses with my boys.  And even if they don’t say or do something funny, we will be making memories and that is the most fun of all.

We woke up to a Winter Wonderland today.  Apparently many people across America did.  LOVE IT!  Feels like Christmas now.  Hope you enjoy many fun Christmas activities with your family today!

I did it.

I finished a book.

This is a major accomplishment for a non-reader. 

If someone remarked on my weight when the kids were small I said, “I would love to eat more, but who has the time?

The same for books, “I would love to read more, but who has the time?”

(Notice no one is asking me about my weight now.  They might be wondering if that is a baby bump or a LAZY bump but at least they aren’t asking!!!  Well, not to my face.)

Being a mom is not an excuse.  I have a friend who would listen to audio books while she vacuumed.

But who has time to vacuum???

So completing this third book of the year (don’t laugh at me) is a major feat. 

Do I get points for starting books?  That would really help my average. 

I may have reader ADD?  I get easily distracted and can’t sit still.

I think my difficulty finishing may be the kind of books I am attracted to. They are not page turners.  They have short chapters, no cliff hangers, and are basically easy to put down.

Matt and I went to Barnes and Noble about a year ago on a date.  He headed for the tech books, and I stood there wondering what in the world I was interested in. Do I have any interests?

Twilight.  No.  (Not that there is anything wrong with that, Laurel.)

Romance.  Not loving those. 

Travel.  Not going there. 

History.  Why start learning that now?  Won’t it all be repeating itself soon?

Kids.    My favorite section, but I am supposed to be on a date acting like an adult.

So I ended up in “Self-Improvement.” 

Is there a book that can help you improve your ability to finish a book? 

Lots of books end up in self-help. 

Books on success, finding your strengths, OCD, cancer.  It is a wide and varied field.  I guess we all think we can improve in some way.

I like the more business oriented books with an entrepreneurial slant:  How to start a business with no money down.

On that particular night I picked Mommy Millionaire which I highlighted AND finished. 

The book I most recently read was, of course, another  self improvement title. 

I would recommend this one:  Every Day Deserves a Chance by Max Lucado. 

This a great gift book.  Actually my copy was meant to be a gift for my sister but obviously she hasn’t gotten it yet.  (You can have it at Christmas, Amy–it already has the important parts underlined.) 

I usually try to remember just one or two points from a book because that is all the space my brain has. 

First, days are “God’s designed bite sized portions of life management.”  He won’t give me more than I can handle, and he thinks that after 24 hours I have probably done enough damage and need a whole new start. 

Secondly, we are supposed to rejoice IN this day.  In the middle of the bad days and the good.  Especially the bad.  That looks good on paper, but can be extremely difficult to do.   

So I have a suggestion for Barnes and Noble.  I think there should be a “God Help” section.  Maybe that is what I was looking for all along.

I am having bloggers block.  After only 3 days.  I just read my last draft to my husband and he said, “Do you want me to tell you it is great or do you want a critical analysis?” 

“Pretend you are a woman reading it,” I said.

“I can’t do that, ” he insisted.

“OK, just the truth.”

It wasn’t pretty.

So now I am back to square one.  But I am determined to post every day for 30 days.  This one is just going to be very short.