i blog for chocolate

Welcome Back! Thanks for visiting!

I am so glad that you are still reading my blog.

Apparently, it may be getting a little serious/boring according to one person/sister who will remain anonymous. 

I might be offended if I didn’t totally agree with her.

I only like funny movies.

I only like funny TV shows.

And I only read funny blogs.

I think my attitude has always been that life has enough serious things to deal with that I really don’t need to be moved to tears when a fake character fake dies on a fake TV set.

The problem with being funny is that it usually involves a little sarcasm.  OK, maybe a lot. 

Ranting is really popular because it is really funny.  I have a list of things that I could rant sarcastically about.  I am not sure though that is healthy/spiritually uplifting for me or would really be helpful if the person I am ranting about never reads this blog and changes their behavior.

Yes, I am referring to you, the 159 drivers who chose to get in a single file line a mile long  instead of merging at the point of the merger on I-81.

So instead, I will just tell the funny things that have happened to me lately. 

The other week I subbed in PE.  We only had one bloody nose and one mild concussion. And those were just the first two classes.  The second collision involved one of my boys.  Of course.  So the next day I was surprised to get a call to sub in PE again. 

“Really??? Did you not hear what happened yesterday in PE???  I figured(hoped)  I would be banned.”

So on the second day, the only injury was to me.  I was helping the PE teacher put down the tables for lunch when it happened.

The first grade teacher said, “What was that?”

I hesitated for a brief moment trying to decide if I should fess up or feign ignorance. 

I just blushed and scanned the floor for the artificial nails that had escaped my fingertips and gone flying off into the air landing under the next table.

In my defense, I am not that vain.  I apparently have a calcium deficiency. 

At least that is what the foreign guy doing my nails said. 

His suggestion:  Eat Crab Legs.

I just checked:  the King Crab Legs at Red Lobster apparently have 0% Calcium. Some nutrition guides give it up to 8%.  Apparently the shell is made of calcium.  Do I have to eat that???

Do you know how many crab legs I would have to eat to get a significant amount of calcium? Do you know how much drawn butter I would have to slurp along with them? Good Plan B in case the witness protection plan doesn’t pan out, and I want to gain a lot of weight so no one will recognize me.

So the artificial nails were the last hope to avoid “real” fake nails.

I know, I know, those damage your nails.  But I have tried everything to fix my nails, and they are still split.  I am tired of having 3-5 of my fingers wrapped in bandaids everyday just to fold the laundry without pain.

So here I am trying to learn to type with these silly nails on my hand.  And I am not really sure if this blog will be funny to you.  But at least if wasn’t about some fake person fake dying on some fake show—just about my fake nails and me dying of embarrassment.

This will fix you right up!

I know that some of you only come to this blog for the chocolate.

Now that you have eaten all your kids’ Easter candy, you are looking for another fix.

I discovered a show recently called, “Little Chocolatiers.” I forgot they were little people as they made a bust of a man’s head out of chocolate.  It was somewhat bizarre because the company that commissioned it thought it would be a great way to boost morale.  I am thinking that a Target gift card would have worked, but there probably was something very satisfying about biting off your boss’ ear.  They don’t bleep out all the bad words, so I won’t probably watch it with the kids.  But you can just mute the TV and drool.  That can’t hurt anything right?

More chocolate. . .

So my friend Lori got a homemade ice cream churn for her birthday.  Normally I am not an ice cream fan.  I go for baked goods, but in the summer I will make an exception.  And it has felt like summer lately, hasn’t it!!

Another exception I make in the summer  is that I might choose another flavor over chocolate. One of VERY few exceptions to my rule:  any other flavor is just a waste of calories.

But my mom’s homemade peach ice cream is to die for.  It goes along with the whole SC/palmetto freak/we really are the peach capital of the world NOT Georgia vibe I grew up with. Here is some proof of our peach passion. 

Yes, it does look like a hiney, but you know what they say, “Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina. . .”

But back to chocolate.

My second favorite flavor of homemade ice cream is Oreo.  My recipe for this is found on page 290 of the school cookbook.   (If you missed purchasing the best cookbook EVER, I heard a rumor that they are reprinting it this fall.  Better get your name on the list now.)

And also here is the link to the recipe in my personal online cookbook.  http://www.tastebook.com/recipe_books/432078-DISH-

I know you are making plans right this minute to whip up a batch this weekend as you choke down one of those unpopular jelly beans because it is the only thing sweet left in the house.  Don’t worry—chocolate and the weekend are coming soon!!

Recently I had the opportunity to share my cancer story at a fundraiser for Wake Forest Comprehensive Cancer Center.  Don’t worry it was not a stuffy dinner with too much silverware.  It was the Wake N Shake which is a student lead Dance Marathon to raise money for the Brian Piccolo Fund.  You can check it out here:  http://www.brianpiccolofund.org/ and here:  http://www.wakenshake.com/.  His story is inspiring.

So after Matt’s cousin showed up here last weekend with her nose pierced (Yes, I noticed Lesley!) I decided I should have just talked about the 4 tattoos I got from radiation and showed them my big scar.  College students  really aren’t thinking about dying or leaving behind small children. 

They did cheer when I mentioned that Karen was still surviving after her home doctor gave her little hope.  They just survived exams last semester, so they feel like they can relate to that.

While I was there I was also interviewed for a video that the cancer center is putting together to promote their services.  I almost typed “promote cancer,” but we would all like for cancer to get “de”-moted to an insignificant disease that is just a mere pothole on the road not a complete detour in life.

Jan asked me some serious questions–the kind of big questions that I don’t spend lots of time thinking about like “How did cancer affect my life?”  I honestly had not thought about that recently.  I had thought about coping mechanisms and treatments and friendships.  But I had not thought about what cancer did to me:  what cancer causes.

I spent time researching causes of chondrosarcoma when I first got diagnosed.  Basically, they cannot really tell you why one person gets cancer and someone else doesn’t.  They are narrowing it down every day, but there is still a huge question mark at the end of that question. 

So I decided to start reflecting not on what gave me cancer, but what cancer gave to me.  Hmm.  Sounds like a good book theme.  (And the girls I volunteer with at school know how I love a party with a theme. )

Now I have to start collecting research for my book.  So I will ask you:  What has cancer caused in your life?  If you are reading this, you know at least one person with cancer.  Unfortunately, you probably know several.  I’d like to know what your thoughts are on this. 

 And if you don’t share, I may have to resort to telling you about all my scars and tattoos.  Of course, to some of you, that may be the most interesting chapter of all.

Matt asked me what “Matt was in the house tugging on sleepy feet” meant in the last post.  I explained that it meant he was trying to get Brady out of bed.  That does not mean my husband was not helping with the yardwork.  Just wanted to clarify that. 

Recently we were delighted to find out that Matt’s cousin, Charley, and her fiancée, Kevin, are going to get married right here on the family farm.  Or should I say hitched? 

Of course, the first thing I did was make a list.  One of the first things on that list was to clean up the woods between our house and the grandparent’s house.  Not that it really needed to be done before the wedding, but we definitely wanted to get it done before the poison ivy came up.

I expected some complaining, but got none.  You see—our pre-teen just grunts.  Apparently, teenagers lose the capacity to verbalize grief especially when being dragged out of bed early on a Saturday morning. The other boys ran with abandon into the woods and chattered like squirrels as they collected sticks.

Being the tallest person in the woods at the moment,  (I left Matt tugging on sleepy  feet inside)  I expected to have to drag all the really heavy limbs to the truck.  Instead, the opposite was true.

Each boy searched out the largest stick he could find and heaved it to the truck.  You see they were not out to merely “clean” the woods, they were out to “conquer” them.  Only the largest sticks were worthy of their valor.  Each scavenged to find a stick bigger than the last or at least bigger than his brother’s last.

And I stood grateful.

Grateful to have 4 strong boys to take care of me now and when I am old and gray.

Grateful to have 4 boys with willing hearts who are not afraid of hard work.

Grateful for the promise of spring after such a snowy winter.

Hopeful that they will attack every problem and every obstacle in their path the same way they tackled those limbs. 

I could even see them with a future in politics:  Speaks softly, Carries Big Sticks.

Butler was so close. 

That is why I hate basketball.  All your hard work on the court can be destroyed in the last 2 seconds. 

Our boys just had a perfect basketball season. 

They lost every game. 

I actually prayed during one of the games even though up to this point in my life I never thought I should ask the Creator of the Universe to intervene in sports.

We will remember this year. 

 I cannot even tell you how many games they won or lost last year.  But this year will make an impression. 

 They will remember what it feels to lose. And lose again. And lose again.  

They will remember how they were treated by the other teams.

 They will remember the things the coaches said to encourage them.

From the encouragement they have received, they will be able to give to others.

I reconciled myself in the middle of the season that God may be trying to teach them something.

 I thought about how at my girls’ Bunco night each month there is a prize for the biggest winner and the biggest loser.  Even in Bunco, there are some rewards for losing.

Loss can be a great teacher. 

When you lose a game you reflect more, try harder the next time, examine every play with painstaking detail.  You come together as a team, you realize your own vulnerability– you look outside yourself. 

You become teachable.

Loss will teach you, if you will let it.

So even though they didn’t win, I searched their faces.  I wanted to see inside their hearts.

I don’t know what they will take from this season.  But I hope they know that losing doesn’t make them a loser. 

Losing with grace makes them winners.

OK.  So it has been a while.  We have some catching up to do. 

I wanted to thank each one of you who told me that you must not have signed up correctly because you haven’t been getting any updates from my blog.  Nothing is wrong with your computer skills.  My writing skills though needed a re-boot. 

Just yesterday George pushed his toy motorcycle all the way through the woods to his grandparents’ house to get it charged up.  Grammy passed him on the golf cart, but he didn’t ask for help.  When he arrived Pop Pop told him that he was quite a determined little boy.

 George looked up at him and said, “I don’t know what that means, but could you plug this up for me?”

Maybe I lacked the mental energy to keep pushing this blog.  Maybe I decided that going on a golf cart ride would be much more fun. Maybe I just started chasing butterflies and ended up across the field. 

But something got my attention.   Now I am inspired again.  People like George inspire me.  Several other people and events have lately inspired me.  I hope that they will inspire you, too.

First, I want to introduce you to my friend, Penny.  Penny and I pray together each Thursday with several other moms in our Moms In Touch group.  I had no idea she wrote books, and she didn’t know I had a blog.  Obviously, we only discuss God and our children, so finding out this tidbit was a pleasant surprise. 

Penny has accomplished something fairly amazing.  She has finished a novel.  I told her that this alone was something to celebrate, yet she has also been selected as a Breakthrough Novel in a competition that Amazon is hosting.  Here is her plea, and I hope that you will consider helping her out.  I just posted my review for her novel which should appear in 48 hours.  It does take some time to read and review the excerpt, but  I find that reading young adult fiction makes me feel youthful.  So maybe this will rewind your clock a little bit, and you can check off “Encourage someone today” from your to-do list.

Friends and family,

 I’m sending this email to share something very important in my life.  If you know me from childhood and high school, this probably won’t surprise you.  A few years ago, I made an attempt at writing a book, but I never shared it with anyone but my husband, Eddie.  In January, I entered it in a contest on Amazon.com.  In March, the book was selected as one of the 1000 picked out of 5000.  Yesterday, I found out that it made it through this month’s cut as well, being chosen as one of 250 out of that 1000.  In April, my manuscript will be reviewed by Publisher’s Weekly and the judges will narrow the competition to 100.  In May, it gets cut to 3.  Those three will compete for 1st place, a publishing contract with Penguin Books and $15,000. 

 I need everyone’s help.  During this month, the judges will look at reviews posted on Amazon.com based on an excerpt of each entry.  The more positive feedback my book gets, the better my chances for making the cut.  So I’m asking each of you to take the time to read my prologue and first chapter and then honestly (but favorably, I hope!) review it.  If you are in a position to pass this on to other potential reviewers, please do so!  Forward this to everyone you know!

 

Here’s what you have to do to download and review my book.  You must have an account with Amazon to vote.  Go to http://www.amazon.com/Breakthrough-Novel-Award-Books/b?ie=UTF8&node=332264011.  To the right it says “Read Excerpts Without a Kindle.”  If you happen to own a Kindle, you can skip this part.  Click on the application you can use and it will download a free file onto your PC or IPhone.  Then you can type Crossing Points or Pen Milam in the search space and click ‘go’.  The excerpt should come up and you can download it for free. 

My book is a young adult fantasy novel called Crossing Points.  It has strong religious undertones, in the style of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.”  This contest is not geared specifically toward Christian work but popular fiction, so I need your help that much more to get it noticed.  Thank you to each of you who will take the time to help me move forward.  Writing a novel has been a dream of mine since I was in middle school, and this is a book that promotes our Christian beliefs, so I hope you will support it by reading it!

Love and thanks to all!

Penny Milam

I cannot blog today.  I am too busy.

We are snowed in again, and I reasoned that I have brought a snow curse on our region. 

For those of you who know how much snow I have had at my house compared to everyone else, you may agree that I must be the source of this curse.  On two separate occasions we have had two inches of snow that no one else 10 minutes away received. 

So it must be me.

I thought it would be lovely to leave all those cute snowmen and our snow scene up after Christmas.

I have come to the conclusion that these things must be some sort of talisman bringing snow and bad weather.

So I am spending today banishing all those things to the basement where they belong.

Maybe this will stop the snow curse. 

No more whining (me or the kids).

No more staying up late to check for snow delays.

No more getting up early to check for school cancellations.

No more feeling sorry for the cows in the field behind our house (although they don’t seem to mind the snow as much as I do).

I hope this works.  I may not survive this snow curse much longer.

Jack was my only son who had the common decency to be born during the middle of the day.  That is why I can remember the details of his birth so vividly.

There was no rushing to the hospital in the middle of the night.  We calmly got up and got dressed.  The older boys stayed with some friends the night before, so we had a quiet morning.  I was going to be induced, so it was the first time I didn’t scowl at Matt for driving the speed limit on the way to the hospital.

The whole process was quite pleasant.    In fact, at one point during the morning the doctor ordered the nurse to turn up my meds because I wasn’t in enough pain.  After a lunch of ice chips while watching the Price is Right, I felt a twinge so I summoned the nurse and said that I would like that epidural now.  She said I was third in line.  Unlike the grocery store, this was truly a short line and no one in front of me tried to sneak 20 items into the express lane.   I never reallylost my patience or  felt much pain at all.

So about the time Oprah came on, I was ready to give birth.  Jack popped out, and the doctor held up this beautiful baby with the biggest brown eyes and a head loaded with  jet black hair.  Jack looked at me directly as if to say, “That was some ride!”  I can still picture his big eyes.  Probably the daylight steaming in the windows helped make this day especially clear.

Jack reminded me last night that he was actually due on the 4^th.  He has always had a gift for numbers.  He remembers dates like the birth date of his great grandfather.  In the car he repeated back the phone number for the radio station contest when the rest of us couldn’t remember.     He notices how much money is in the Mega Million Jackpot and reports when someone wins.  He used to regularly check Matt’s company stocks on my iphone to see if we are “winning.”  He only asked for money for his birthday, so he can save for an itouch which costs nearly $200.  He counts his money and spends it carefully. 

And, Jack, I count it a joy to be your mom!

Happy Birthday!

Oprah may have her “Aha” moments, but I had a “Thank you, Lord Jesus” moment yesterday. 

We live at the top of a fairly steep drive.  I currently do not own a four wheel drive vehicle.  And it has been snowing– lots. 

Of course, going down the hill is no problem.  Sliding down sideways is a different sort of problem, but that has only happened once back when I was a much less experienced snow driver.

So I have had to trudge up the hill more than once when I failed to make it all the way to the top of the hill.  Yesterday was one of those days, but I was prepared with boots for me and the kids.  I also had a car full of groceries.  The boys ran their book bags into the house then came back down the hill to help me unload.

Jack was standing on the porch when I was bringing up the last load.

“Is that all?” he asked.

I just stopped and smiled. 

The normal reaction when I ask the boys to do something is to do as little as possible then make themselves as scarce as possible.  Jack genuinely wanted to make sure that he finished the job and make sure that his mom didn’t need anything else.  There is hope. 

But I couldn’t help reflecting on my own attitude toward what God asks me to do.  Do I go the extra mile?  Do I cheerfully ask, “Is that all?” Do I desire to complete my tasks and have a willing, servant’s heart in response to all God requests of me? 

Shamefully, no.  I don’t.  But realizing how much joy Jack’s response brought to me, I will try harder to respond the same way.  I will do what is required then ask, “Is that all? Lord, what else would you have me do?”